Parenting Advice: How To Get To Children To Sleep
View PDF | Print View
by: Dr.NoelSwanson
Total views: 3
Word Count: 1739
In order for us to get restful sleep, we need to be relaxed. In order to relax, a number of things have to happen. First of all, we need to feel safe and secure. Obviously, if there is tension in the house - abuse, parents rowing, problems with finances or neighbours, or else problems at school or with friends, it will be much harder to relax and fall asleep.
Feeling safe and sound is of the utmost importance. If children hear their parents arguing, if there are financial problems, trouble with neighbors or disagreements with friends, trouble at school, they experience tension and don't feel safe. Of course it's even worse if their parents abuse them. Any one or combination of these situations won't let your children relax and enjoy a good night's sleep.
To sleep, we then need to turn our minds off the business of the day, shut out the distractions of the environment and slow down our heart rate and metabolism. As we drift into sleep, not only does the body slow down, so too does the brain. Brain waves, which are often running along at 14 Hertz (cycles per second) or more during the day, will slow down first to an "alpha" rhythm (around 10 Hz) and then gradually right down to the deep sleep of a "delta" rhythm (4-7 Hz).
Everyone has to quiet their minds before they can fall asleep. It isn't always easy, but we need to learn how to let go of what happened during the day, close our ears and minds to any environmental distractions, and slow our heart rates and metabolism. During the day our brainwaves run at 14 Hertz, or cycles per second. They may even cycle higher. When we fall asleep the brain and body both slow down. During the first stage of sleep our brainwaves slow to an "alpha" rhythm of about 10 Hz. During deep or "delta" sleep we are running at 4 to 7 Hz.
A warm bath and hot milky drink. The warm bath relaxes the body, and allows the metabolism to slow down as it does not need to be so busy generating heat. Warmth also relaxes muscles. Warm milk contains an amino acid called Tryptophan which is a naturally occurring sedative. Obviously avoid drinks such as Coca Cola, tea or coffee, which all contain caffeine. Avoid also activities that are arousing or frustrating; just before bed is not the time for them to be getting upset about their homework or frustrated with their Gameboy.
A bedtime story. This helps to push out the anxieties of the day, whilst also giving the child some special one-to-one attention. The child feels loved and valued, and therefore safe and secure. This can be followed by a recorded tape story, to which the child can listen with eyes closed and in a darkened room. But pick a story that is calming, not frightening!
Soft, relaxing music is good. We can't close our ears against the noises from our environment. These can easily wake us up and heighten our stress. Especially disturbing are barking dogs, howling foxes or heavy lorries driving by. At least we can modify the sounds. Make the room as quiet as you can by using heavy curtains, double glazed windows, and close all the doors.
Since we can't close our ears, relaxing music might help lessen the shock and disturbance of hearing sounds from our environment. Sudden noises and those not expected tend to wake us and cause stress. Some sounds we can't control are a barking dog at the neighbors, a fox or other creature howling, or even lorries passing the house. However, we can take some steps to modify our environment. Using heavy drapes or curtains, double glazed windows and closing doors can aid in keeping out some sounds.
If we want to introduce sounds to drown out the disturbing ones, we need to use care. Sounds known as white noise, come from fans and humidifiers. A soothing radio program can also help lessen the effects of the dogs and lorries. Because of the pitch and the beat of the sound we introduce, we can cause more stress than relaxation, if we don't know what we're doing. Remember that the higher frequencies give us energy while the lower ones help us relax. White noise and most radio music are high frequency. If your radio is a less expensive model, then the bass response is poor, making it worse. In general, popular music is played at a fast beat. The worst type for sleep is disco music. Most of us can't help somehow engaging with the music, by tapping or nodding to its beat. We refer to this as entertainment and tell ourselves that our bodies want to align with the rhythms of our universe. The problem is that our heart rates also align with the beat. If the music is up tempo our heart rate increases. To slow it down for sleep we need to play slow and calming music.
The ideal beat for creating a sleeping environment is 50 to 60 Hz. That matches the heart rate when we are relaxed. It should be pitched low and the rhythm should be slow. These factors will help our hearts slow their beating. Where do we look to find the appropriate sounds? Some nature recordings, such as rolling waves will do the trick, as will certain classical music. I recommend tapes or CDs that are made expressly for relaxation. Some of the best I have found are by Steven Halpern and the Sound Health Service CDs called "Relax" and "De-Stress". Play them softly in the background so as to make a gentle sound environment in the bedroom. They will also help to drown out those disrupting background noises. Some children don't sleep deeply enough and are awakened frequently. If your child has that problem, consider playing a CD on continuous play. It will calm your child throughout her sleep.
Muted tones of blue, green and pink are often used in bedrooms. Blue is serene, green for harmony and peace, and pink is all warmth and coziness. Be careful of the blues and greens though, as they can make an atmosphere feel cold. Bright reds and yellows will fire us up and make it hard to sleep. Even though these effects are subtle and unconscious, they are very real.
The lighting is also important. Not surprisingly, bright lights keep us awake. So too, does light with a "cold" or bluish tinge - such as from fluorescent lights. This is, after all, the lighting of the early morning sun. On the other hand, the twilight sun is full of warm shades of orange and red. So the light from a dim bulb or, better still, from a candle, oil lamp, or natural fire, will be much more relaxing. Combine these with pink furnishings, soft slow music, the sound of waves on the beach ....
There is one other feature of natural flames that makes it so relaxing - it flickers. Typically, in fact, if flickers at a rate of about 6-7 Hz. The brain tends to entrain to this frequency, which produces the very relaxed state of "theta wave" activity.
Natural flames are so relaxing because they flicker. The typical rate is 6-7 Hz. The brain responds to this frequency by relaxing into "theta wave" mode.
Our most primitive sense is smell. Think of the times you've sniffed the briefest whiff of something that takes you right back to old memories and emotions. Since they affect our emotional state, some smells can help us sleep. The essential oils of mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa are recommended. If you have children older than five, use neroli, geranium and nutmeg in addition. A mixture of mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa or a mixture of chamomile, geranium and nutmeg are especially good. Put the oils in bath water, or rub it on skin with massage oil. You can even put it in the humidifier water. Remember to use moderately. Your goal is subtlety rather than an overpowering smell.
We often close our windows in winter and leave the heat on. This cuts down on outside noises, but also keeps out fresh air. The heat dries out the air as well, in turn drying out our nasal passages. When we have stuffy noses and air, we will usually sleep poorly. Even opening the window a crack will help.
Not having some fresh air to breathe at night can be interrupting to sleep. Think about opening a window, even if it's just a tiny bit. Too many people close all the windows and leave the heat running at night. Not only does it get close and too warm, lack of humidity dries out nasal passages. When we are uncomfortable, especially when it comes to breathing, we tend to sleep poorly and awaken often.
There are three possibilities for improving humidity in the bedroom. First, consider turning the heat down and covering your child with more blankets. This also serves the purpose of helping him to feel grounded. Second, you may want to use a humidifier. They can actually fulfill two purposes; creating both moisture and white noise. The third option is to lay a wet flannel or towel over the radiator. If you add a small amount of essential oils, the child also receives the benefit of a soothing aroma.
There must be millions of ways to help your child sleep. Experiment until you find what works best in your home. What about you, the parent? How often are you exhausted and long for sleep? Do you find yourself wishing for a nap before the kids come home? You might be stuck in a nineteenth century myth about sleep. Look at this website to find out some things about sleep that will amaze you, and change your life.
What about you, the exhausted parent? How many days a week do you long to make up some of those lost hours of sleep? How many times in a day do you focus on how totally worn out you are? Do you often wish you could get in a little nap before the kids get home? Those ways of thinking date back to the 19th century and are actually myths about sleep. Read more on this site and you will learn a lot more about sleep that can offer you some major changes in how you think about it. May you sleep peacefully and have lovely dreams.
About the Author
To get more articles full of parenting advice by author Dr. Noel Swanson, go to his parenting advice website and get his free newsletter.
HTML For Publishers
Please note: This article is free to reprint but all links must remain active.
Rating: Not yet rated
