Toilet Training for Your Toddler
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by: Dr.NoelSwanson.
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Let's begin by removing some misconceptions related to toilet training. Many parents seem to consider potty training as a criterion to judge their child's brightness and their own smartness. Nothing can be farther than the truth. If you try to potty train your child before he/she is ready for it, you will be a nervous wreck, and you will traumatize your child.
So, the first thing is to wait for your child to be ready for toilet training before you begin to do so. It will make the whole process much easier, happier, and less stressful. It really doesn't matter that your little one is trained three months later than your neighbor's child.
Every child is different, and that's the beauty. Learn to cherish it. Most toddlers are not genuinely toilet trained before the age of two or three years though there are exceptions that may be toilet trained at 20 months. Moreover, as a rule, boys take longer to be potty trained than girls. Almost all children are toilet trained by the age of 4, though bedwetting continues till the age of 5 in about 10% kids. There is no need to be in haste. If you do that, you might have to face problems, such as soiling, that can last much longer.
So, in the interests of more peace at home, here are some guidelines on how to prepare your child for the great Potty Training Experience - and how to know when he or she is ready to start.
1. First, talk to your child about the body parts and their functions. It doesn't matter what names you as a family use as long as everyone knows what they mean.
2. Allow her to witness you or other family member (preferably same sex) using the toilet. No it won't traumatize her - unless you make a big thing of it. Just be natural and she will consider it natural as well. Talk about it as a grown-up thing to do - that one day, when she is ready, she too will be able to use a potty and then the big peoples toilet. This instills a sense of anticipation and desire as all toddlers want to do the things that grown-ups do. Letting her flush the toilet also gets her used to the whole process.
3. Fix a date for starting the toilet training. Bring the small potty out before that and leave it in a visible place. Talk to your child about what it is, and what it is for. Ask him when he would like to use it, but don't start right away.
How to know when the child is ready? Look for these signs:
1. Can she tell you when she is wet or dirty? You can help with this by asking her or pointing out to her immediately after she urinated or had a bowel movement. Whether your spot it, or she tells you, change her diaper as soon as possible. You want to reinforce the idea that being clean and dry is more comfortable than being wet and dirty. If she comes and tells you that she needs a diaper change, offer lots of praise and do it straight away.
2. In the beginning, children find it difficult to physically manage the potty. They are not steady and might fall off. Also, they don't get enough warning so there may be some accidents leading to frustration with getting to the bathroom and getting clothes off. If this is happening too often, it is better to wait another month or two.
3. Can she follow directions and instructions? Can she, for example, carry out an instruction to take a piece of tissue and throw it into the toilet? If not, or if she stubbornly refuses, then that probably needs to be addressed first.
4. Look out for signs of developing bowel and bladder control, such as clear patterns of bowel movements. If your child's stools are firm and well formed, and he is able to stay dry for several hours at a time, he is ready for toilet training because he will be able to control himself long enough to get to the bathroom. However, don't let the child strain to withhold; that can cause more serious problems. If your child experiences pain on passing a motion, you may have to change the diet to make the stool softer and easier to pass.
5. Above all, give a positive feeling about toilet to your child. He should look forward to the day when he can use a toilet like a grown up. It all depends on the preparatory work you have done. Some children have fears about flushing water etc, which will have to be addressed before starting the toilet training. You will need to make your child familiar with the toilet and let him practice sitting on the potty with clothes on. This will reassure him that he won't disappear and get flushed away like the potty does.
If you have done your preparatory work well, you will not have much difficulty in toilet training your little toddler. Remember to praise success, but there should be no punishments for failures.
Good luck!
About the Author
Fed up with your toddler's temper tantrums? For tips on managing pre-schoolers' behaviors and for advice on toddler's temper tantrums vist Dr. Noel Swanson's website, and check out his acclaimed book, The GOOD CHILD Guide.
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